Message of REFLECTION

I wanted to share the wishes and thoughts one of my dearest and closest friends sent that touched me...

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What's Up My People: CAN U BELIEVE '06 is almost out the door?!?!?!?! ...

I pray that the Holidays are full of loving hugs, good food, and hope for whatever you want to manifest in your life to be a reality or at least one less step away in the New Year.

I don't *really* do New Year's resolutions. I have certain themes for each year, not knowing the form they will take through the passing months. My theme is Divinely chosen because I listen as the year comes to an end and take a mental inventory of the months before.

This year I encourage you to do the same ... Just take a few moments in the next week or so and listen in your quiet time, or rather your alone time, be it driving in the car or even taking a shower.

I Divinely began this tradition in 2003. That year's theme was "transitions." I felt in my spirit that a huge event would happen in my life that would catapult me into an unexpected realm of *newness* and I would transition in a significant way. Sure enough events of that ENTIRE year symbolized grand transitions that changed my life forever in all respects, redifining my existence in magnificent ways.

So, I share this with you as a thought for a way to approach your new years, not just '07. Let '07 be the starting point. The key to this process is listening to that Divine voice inside of you and seeing how things will manifest. Of course, because life is what it is, the process isn't always warm and fuzzy. We are humans and within the *process* is a balance of good and bad [challenges] in order to blossom at the end. It ain't all rosy (0:

Enjoy your Holiday and the New Year ahead. Good luck in determining your theme for '07...

Love and hugs your way, always.

Sharing Some Holiday CHEER!

One of my friends sent this to me, and I cracked up!

Watching this will definitely chase your winter/holiday blues away...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA

Sometimes It's Hard To Let Go

Recently I decided to tell someone I had started dating that I no longer wanted to date him.

We hadn't been going out that long, so I figured that if I distanced myself that he'd "get the hint". Something happened that changed my mind about him, though my feelings had started to change a little while prior to this incident. But, I had chosen to stick around to see if maybe I wasn't giving him a fair shake or didn't have an open mind. Well, things had deteriorated, and I felt I just had to let this thing go.

He continued to live as if we were still going on as usual even though I no longer called (except to return a call of his with the intent of telling him it was over, which didn't end up happening) or made any attempt at contact. He sent an email recently that I decided to answer and say without saying explicitly that we were done. I guess he didn't catch the finality of what I wrote since he called that night. It was then that I just sucked up my anxiety about this situation, and told him that we could be friends, but that would be it.

I could tell that he was really hurt, but there wasn't anything that I could do about that. I didn't intend him to be hurt, but what could I do? So he sends me another email today expressing his hurt and other thoughts and feelings, and I can appreciate his need for closure and to express what he's thinking. But, something he wrote kind of rubbed me the wrong way (which is no surprise to me):

"I am very mature to not hold things against you because I am on an entire different level when it comes to being understanding."

Granted, this is just one sentence out of the entire message, but it just amazes me how he only now chooses to reflect back on how things were going between us and is just now making a connection between the deterioration and what recently transpired. As far as I'm concerned, there isn't anything for him to hold againtst me. And of course, I'd say that. Yes, I could have expressed what I felt initially about us, but I chose to wait, to see what would happen. I second-guessed and invalidated my feelings the first time, and I have to unlearn this behavior...definitely one of many lessons for me.

Communication is a challenge for me...period, especially when I'm upset or have to say uncomfortable or difficult things. Then it's hard for me to express myself. But I know that's something I have to find ways to work on and improve.

But this doesn't change the fact that I believe he lives in a world of delusion, his perception of reality clouded by his fantasies of what he wants to see. I haven't shown that in this post because 1) I don't want to go into detail, and 2) I know I'll come off like I'm bad mouthing him, and I don't want to do that. He is a nice guy...a good guy; just not the guy for me.

I'm not going to respond to his last email because I don't have to explain or justify my decision.

He has to let go, and so do I.