Survey Says...

...85% of Black Women would choose a man in a suit and tie versus a man in work boots...


I'm sorry, but that just doesn't sound right to me. And of course, this is just one perspective on the matter. Maybe there are a lot of women who feel this way...or maybe I'm protective of the images and perceptions placed on black women by society overall. That "conclusion" seems to misrepresent what (I would hope) many of us are about, and give us a bad rep in general. We're not all golddiggers, superficial socialites or money-grubbing b****es.

This statement says to me that most of us only pay the most attention to how a man is dressed and what he looks like on the outside when determining who we'd rather be approached by. Now don't get me wrong...There is nothing like a fine brother in a nice suit. I'll give that much. He's nice to look at. But that doesn't mean that he's not a womanizing, lying, cheating, abusive a**hole. And frankly, I would check a man in work boots and no shirt while he's outside working hard making that framework into a beautiful building. Just because he's not "decked out" at the time does not mean that he doesn't have money---he possibly makes more and has more in the bank than Mr. S & T---have taste or class, doesn't know how to act or have a sensitive nature.

I could go on and on about my man in work boots, so I'll leave him be---for now. ;) But I will say that I would rather our brothas did not see us in such a negative light. Relationships are hard enough for us as it is without adding all this extra nonsense. I guess I'm so concerned about this because as a black woman I don't appreciate the misconceptions floating around about who we are and what we're about. And who in the hell did these people survey, anyway??? It is true that there are some women who would turn their noses up at a man who's a blue collar worker; I can't deny that. But I refuse to believe that most of us are like that.

Maybe I'm biased, a little naive or hopelessly optimistic and want to look at black women in the best possible light; probably because I don't see myself as being a part of that 85%. At least that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it! (jk) I'm part of the majority of women who love our men, believe in them, want to see them for who they are rather than what they have or wear, and want to care for them. That survey didn't discuss how we have to deal with a lot of crap of our own that other people don't have to deal with; we have to hold ours down because if we don't, no one else will. We've been forced to get to a point where we have to rely solely on ourselves because a lot of our brothas aren't in a position to take care of us so that we can in turn take care of them.

It really is quite a sad state of affairs...

^As a sidenote, I almost went to blows with this brotha after bringing this statistic to my attention. I was shocked that he was talking like he believed this.^