He's Got It Like DAT?!?!

Plenty of ppl have been to my apt and know that it’s on the top floor, beneath a roof deck that all the residents have access to. Usually, it’s pretty quiet. But, there have been a couple times that the noise going on up there has been too much. Once, I went up to ask whoever was up there to chill out, and some little girl (well, not really that little---she was probably pre-teen) was doing cartwheels. Okay, Ima need you to not be doin’ freakin’ cartwheels over my head while I’m trying to watch TV. How ‘bout dat? I went up w/a bit of attitude, and she kindly refrained from continuing said activity.

The thing is, if you don’t live in the top floor apartments, you wouldn’t know that the deck has no sort of insulation to absorb the shock of heavy walking, stomping, cartwheel-turning, or whatever. Bottom line is, I hear it all.

Well, this morning, I’m awakened to what sounds like creaking. Whatever this is, it’s causing enough vibration to make my curtains tremble. I kid you not! I check the clock, and it’s 6:40 am. I don’t know what this ruckus is, but I give it a few seconds to see if it will stop. I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt. Whatever it is, however, it’s still going. Under different circumstances, I might have just tried going back to sleep, but this day, I’m heated. I haven’t been sleeping well for some time now, and I’m not happy to be awakened out of a dream (meaning I’m sleepin’ some kind of dmn good!).

I throw on a pair of jeans and a jacket and proceed down the hall. Every few steps I listen to see if this “creaking” has stopped. Then it starts up again. WTF!! Oh, I am determined at this point to go have a word when it dawns on me. What if someone is up there getting all kinds of grooves on?!!? Oh sht. Then a devious smile spreads across my lips. What if. I listen again, and it’s quiet for a moment, then “en-hick, en-hick, en-hick, en-hick...” Clearly, whoever this cat is, he is banging that sht some kinda sumpin’, cuz DAY-HAM!! Cause if I can hear it, then you know... *eyes rolling upward* ...homeboy’s got it like that!

Well, even w/that in mind, I figure that if I’m not getting any, then no one else is. I felt like the Grinch, b/c I was truly about to go steal somebody’s Christmas, LOL! I couldn’t help but laugh. Yeah, boy...this was gonna be some sht... Just as I was about to head out the door, I realized that I needed to have a plan. I could get up there and see all kinds of buck nekked azzez, legs, arms and elbows. What the hell was I gonna do then?? How do you handle something like that? Wow. Hadn’t thought about it like that. Then, out of nowhere, I was like, what if it’s two DUDES??!?!?! OMG. What the hell then?? Whoa, cuz I don’t want to see that sht!!

For a moment, I reconsidered my quest. I may walk into something that could change me forever. Was I prepared for that possibility?? But, then again, it might be worth it just to see the looks on these people’s faces. Hey, this is what happens when you do what you do up on the roof. It’s the butt-crack of dawn, but this is the chance you take. I can’t reclaim my last minutes of peaceful dreaming, but I can let you know about it. In my mind I give these folks one last chance to rectify the sitiashun, then “en-hick, en-hick, en-hick, en-hick...” Of course I had to forge ahead at this point. Plus, I was already “dressed”. I hadn’t washed my face, brushed any teeth or fluffed out the afro that was all out of shape and flat on one side in the back. T hese ppl had to see that they woke me right up out the bed. The damage has been done.

I proceed to walk up to the door leading out on to the roof deck, and I see the door is slightly ajar---another confirmation that someone’s up there. I take a DEEP breath then push the door open. It makes enough noise that I figure it should give whoever up here a chance to begin collecting themselves. Luckily for me, the door opens to the left and not the right, so even when you open it you still don’t see anything until you walk around it. This gave me a couple seconds, then “en-hick, en-hick, en-hick, en-hick...” Wow. This is it. I was nervous now, but went ahead anyway.

I walk slowly around the door, preparing myself for the absolute worst possible scenario as I went, only to find....you ready for this....

...One of my neighbors JUMPING ROPE on the roof deck!!! Now ain’t that some sht??

I almost couldn’t believe that that’s what I’d been hearing, b/c believe me when I tell you that it sho sounded like something else. At the same time, though, I have to admit that I was relieved. I didn’t want to have to deal w/see nekked bodies thrashing around or falling this way and that trying to make it back to their apt. However exciting it may sound to some, I wasn’t ready to see anything like that.

Well, I spoke to my neighbor and asked her if she could jump rope in a different area of the deck. She was cool about it. Said she’s been doing this for two months. Huh??? TWO MONTHS?!?! This was certainly the first I’d heard what I heard, so I don’t know. Either way, she’s aware now.

I think that’s what some would call good neighborly relations...lol