Answers In The Stars?

Weekly Forecast for October 17, 2005
Provided by Astrology.com Monthly Forecast

Look out for conflict as the week begins. Monday could find you butting heads with someone who doesn't share your point of view, but a little selflessness on your part could defuse the situation. From Monday evening through Wednesday, you might still find yourself at odds with the ideas and agendas of others, but the competition is apt to be much more good-natured and spirited. Fight a good fight, but be willing to find a compromise, too. On Thursday and Friday, read the fine print. The devil is in the details right now, especially where risks are involved. This weekend, surrender control and go with the flow.
****************************************
Many ppl live their lives by their horoscopes. They decide what to wear, where to go, who to date/love/sleep or live with, or how to act based on their weekly, monthly or daily readings. Personally, I think that’s ridiculous. I don’t have anything against those who subscribe to this way of living, but to be ruled by the alignment of the stars, sun and moon for everything or to use it as an explanation for everything is nuts. And in saying this, I don’t mean that I think there’s no merit in astrology because I believe that there is some, but still, it’s not the end all be all...or at least maybe shouldn’t be...

I realized this week that I have not been completely myself, so to speak. Some of my family members can tell you that I can be a dark and brooding person sometimes, but that’s generally not the way I like to live life. But, there are times when that “darkness” consumes me. I found myself praying more because I didn’t like the place I was in emotionally, mentally and spiritually and was hoping to find some relief. I’d been a bitch to just about every single person who crossed my path...enemy, friend, stranger or otherwise...and I really didn’t care.

Even though I used my “circumstances” as an excuse for my behavior, I enjoyed being in control of my emotions. Usually I feel so out of control when it comes to a lot of things in my life—never mind everything is a consequence of some decision I made—but definitely not my emotions. So there has been something about this time that has been empowering for me in an odd sort of way. I have seen the promised land of choosing how I’m going to feel about something (good, bad, or otherwise) versus trying to control situations, circumstances or ppl. I have experienced the potential and reward of relaxing the tight-assed grip I’ve had on things either out of fear or insecurity. But don’t get shit twisted, misconstrued or confused. You won’t hear me shouting Invictus from the Empire State building, lol.

When I was growing up, one of my aunts used to often say (and every once in a while even now) that I brother and I are always so serious, that we walk around like we have the “weight of the world” on our shoulders. O is a Taurus and I’m a Scorpio. It seems our signs were made for this sort of thing. I’d also been looking for “answers” as to what has been causing me to feel the way I have these past weeks, hence the horoscope above. Anyone could interpret this reading a myriad of ways. It’s pretty general for the most part. There are a couple aspects of it, though that I feel are relevant: reading the fine print, and surrendering control. Both of which I’m well aware, but it’s a confirmation of sorts, if you will. While this didn’t give me the answers I’ve been looking for, it gently guided me to an insight into my situation. Scorpios are often characterized by what can sometimes be a venomous nature. Scorpions tend to sting others in attack or self-defense or themselves in chaos or inner turmoil. And in that turmoil if another interferes in some way, well, that one’s getting stung too.

I’ve been in extreme inner turmoil for one reason or another. My life has been quite stress-filled, and I was driving myself crazy (and making myself sick) trying to fix everything, bugging out over things that I could not change and expending way too much energy on wanting other ppl to be, to do, or to say what I wanted them to. I know, I know. This is stuff that everyone knows and it’s no mystery, really, but still there’s something about having to come to certain realizations and a level of understanding for yourself. And I had to come into that place. This was my time.

Some folklore associates the Scorpio with the Eagle and sometimes the Phoenix. The eagle generally represents ascension to a higher level of being spiritually. It also symbolizes the scorpio that has risen above “earthbound limitations”. But don’t be fooled; the eagle is still a bird of prey and delivers a swift and deadly blow, they say. The phoenix, on the other hand, represents complete transformation in the scorpio, the negative or weak aspects of scorpio burned away while the transformed and renewed scorpio rises from the ashes.

Scorpios are emotional, passionate and intense ppl, and that’s generally just how it is. So imagine how intense my turmoil was for me. My conclusion is that I’ve been burning some things out of my way of thinking in order to garner a more empowered, effective, kick-ass me. :)