Liberté de Pensée et D'Expression

I am donning the NEW as I reflect and RENEW and become more receptive to the Spirit that lives inside of me. I explore my truth, and resist the temptation to censor myself. I must free my expression and share my TRUTH.

Ma photo
Nom :
Lieu : NYC

Resisting Self Censorship

31 janvier 2006

Loss of Light



Today we lost a matriarch of the movement for justice, equality and peace for all people. We must honor Mrs. Coretta Scott King and the countless men and women of the civil rights movement who were lynched, burned and tortured, mauled by dogs, maimed by water hoses and beatings, and who endured unimaginable humiliation so that future generations would have it a little bit easier.



The issues may not be as clear cut and overt as they once were, but certainly the fight for equity is not over. We need to build on the foundation laid by the heroes and heroines of the peace and justice movement and our ancestors before them by continuing to demand equality and respect.



We have to want more...it can’t be enough just to discuss these issues and take a look into the past only in February....

Time For A Change

Although I haven’t officially made this a goal of mine, I have decided to begin exploring seriously other areas of my industry for possible career options. Not to say that where I am now and what I do I’d consider a “career”. Right now, work is just work and my job just a job. My heart’s desire is to find something that I will truly enjoy.

Keeping in the spirit of the mantra Organized chose, and I adopted, (“Want it more than you Fear it.”) I’ve made moves to find out more about what it will take for me to make the transition. I was nervous out of my wits when I set up my first meeting, but I did it anyway. And I knew I had to, or I’d be sitting here another year or two years from now wondering why I didn’t and regretting the fact that I hadn’t. I wasn’t ready when I tried this before, but now I am.

My meeting went well and the colleague I met with seemed happy to talk with me and gave me some helpful advice. We discussed things I’d already known, but that was just confirmation that this would be the path I would need to take. What makes this particularly difficult for me is that I’m not naturally inclined to reach out to people, so I tend to “suffer in silence” when it comes to networking. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, I’m a shy, introverted person, so to pursue this is to push me out of my comfort zone and I’m hoping it’s going to be worth it.

I singed up for a mentoring program, which I knew when I applied, would really be a bunch of crock. I have my own ulterior motives for participating, but more than anything, I just want to see where this thing goes. I confided in a friend of mine that I’d signed up, and we had a good laugh about it.

Funnier still, I told her that suspected some sort of systematic sabotage b/c I was linked up w/someone who in a GAZILLION years I’d NEVER make any moves to become acquainted with (not that I have anything against her). And on top of that, she’s in an area that I have absolutely ZERO interest in. I could’ve had an out, I guess if I’d insisted on having someone in my preferred area of interest, but the down side to that would be that if this woman already knew we’d been paired up and I rejected her, I believe there would’ve been some hell to pay. She knows a lot of people and is pretty well connected. For now, I’ve elected to play the game so I’m going to make the best of the situation and hope this shit pays off down the line.

But...I still can’t help be disturbed by what I think may be going on behind the scenes with this program. I’d be a fool not to think that the people in charge of it are hooking up who they want to hook up, and I know I’m not one of those people. Not that I’m surprised by that. We’ve had our problems before...

Hmmm...should be interesting, though...

23 janvier 2006

Do You Like The Things That Life Is Showing You?

What I like most about Anthony Hamilton’s music is his southern sensibilities in his songs. His down-home flair is something I miss about living growing up in the south. This song, AIN’T NOBODY WORRYIN’, really got me thinking about all the problems facing the Black community, and how it seems things only continue to get worse for us rather than better. I know that there are programs out there to help our people, but I still wonder if they are helping. There are those of us who volunteer helping children, the elderly and the homeless, but I can’t help but wonder if the efforts of those amazing people will somehow be lost along the way. So much of what we see of ourselves in the media doesn’t offer much hope, and after a while, it seems overwhelming...like there is so much too do, too little people to do it, and the results just aren’t coming quickly enough. It can all be so discouraging before one even gets started. Yet, there is a part of me that has to believe that every little bit helps, and maybe, just maybe it’s things aren’t as bad as they seem.

I watched a documentary about the Muhammad Ali - George Foreman fight, WHEN WE WERE KINGS. Ali talked a whole lot of trash, lol, but you couldn’t help but be drawn to him. What I fell in love most about him was how he was all about uniting Black people across the world and his courage to refuse to be drafted into the Vietnam War. His main point was, why am I going to go over there and fight poor people who haven’t done anything to me. They haven’t lynched me or called me a nigger. I don’t hear a lot about the stances our athletes are taking today, if any. Maybe I’m missing it. All I know is that to me our society, our people are so different from the way they were back then. In the 70's (and in earlier decades) Black people stood up for what they believed in and spoke out against what wasn’t right, and I’m trying to figure out what happened to us...what has changed?

19 janvier 2006

Ain’t nobody worryin’
when the shots fly high
And the sirens start to ring

Ain’t nobody worryin’
when the kids die young
And the mothers are suffering

Ain’t nobody praying
when they kneel down low
all they doin’ is tyin’ their shoe string

Ain’t nobody worryin’ no’ mo’ no’ mo’ no’ mo’

The homeless have nowhere to turn
When their stomachs start to burn
Cuz they ain’t got food to eat

How the chil’ren going to learn
When they gotta take turns
Cuz they ain’t got books to read?

Then our babies turn to crime
Started getting high
Cuz the job train’s kinda slow

Cuz ain’t nobody worryin’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’

When the tears start to fall
And you can’t see your way
Just to carry on*
Come on judgment day
You don’t have to moan
Help’s on the way

Cuz ain’t nobody worryin’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’

These are our precious times
Diseases taking lives,
Medicaid ran out

Showed me a welfare line
There’s a mother on her own
Trying to beat the drought*

Tell me when will this end?
All the suffering?
My faith is running low

Ain’t nobody worryin’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’ (2x)

When the tears start to fall
And you can’t see your way
Just to carry on
Come on judgment day
You don’t have to moan
Help’s on the way

Cuz ain’t nobody worryin’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’ no mo’

Oh lawd

Ain’t nobody worryin’
when the shots fly high
And the sirens start to ring

I said ain’t nobody worryin’
when the kids die young
And the mothers are suffering

Ain’t nobody worryin’
The black man’s doing time
And nobody cares for him

(Nobody caring)
The government’s on the grind
And trying to fence him in

Our babies are getting high
While drugs in the school
We need to pray again


When will it end? Will it end? Will it end? Will it end?

Cuz ain’t nobody worryin’

17 janvier 2006

MIA

If it hasn't been one thing, it's been something else, but finally, I am back connected to the world from the comfort of my home! My last laptop called it kaput so I had to invest in a new one. And that took a while... Then I had trouble getting my network set up at home, but it looks like I am officially back in bidness!!! Man! I definitely missed this, and there has been so much I've wanted to express, so please, bear w/me as I get back into the groove of things...updating my page and catching up on my blog reading, lol. :oD

Holiday wrap-up:

I made a trip south to visit w/my family and friends, and it turned out to be quite a nice trip. There were a couple down sides to it, though: 1) it wasn't longer and 2) I couldn't get in touch w/a couple of my friends b/c I didn't have their numbers w/me. Other than that, it was nice to see some of my fam and spend time w/them. The best part about it for me was that I realized that I'm ready to close a bit of distance between myself and a few of them. While I love my family a lot, some of them can be pretty judgemental and pretentious at times. And sometimes downright disrespectful. It got to a point where I'd had enough and had to make myself scarce for a while. But now, I'm up for reaching out more on my own terms. To my family's credit, I will say that most of them aren't those things I mentioned. It's really only a small group I'm referring to, but it's all good.

New Year's was great! Even though I'm really not much of a church-goer, certainly not like I used to be, I wanted to bring in the new year there. I'd invited a friend of mine to go w/me so we had dinner and went to a church nearby for service. When we left, I felt so at peace. It was incredible. I didn't realize how chaotic I had allowed my life to become (inside and out) until I felt this stillness in my spirit. So, after service we'd walked and talked for a little while, then I went home. I had to relish the serenity I felt. It had just been too long since I'd had that. Last year was a rough year, lots of ups and downs and I'd been worn out by the whole experience. So, it was nice to feel rejeuvenated and refreshed at the start of a new year.

2006:

In keeping with seeking to maintain a peaceful spirit, I've been doing a personal inventory of the areas I want to work on this year and beyond. This is the year that I want to change my life, and I feel that it's going to happen. One of the things I've started working on is getting organized. I realized that too many areas of my life felt all out of sort and discombobulated because of how disorganized it was. The closer I looked into this, the more I realized what a difference something as "simple" as getting organized would make my life.

And as with so many things, you've got to start small and take baby steps so as not to become overwhelmed with the enormity of whatever task you undertake or change you want to make. I'm determined to stick to this and work on it a little at a time. My finances have gotten the initial re-vamp, I'm making plans for my home and work spaces, and in the process, getting a little better at managing my time overall. I was actually on time for work 4 out of 5 days last week, and was on time this morning. And that was a miracle!! LOL

Ya'll might get sick of hearing about this stuff, but it's only the beginning.

I have this one little story, so to speak, then I'm out.

I was at work looking for something I'd misplaced and was going through a drawer of mine for it. Anyone who has ever seen my cube knows that it's piled high with boxes of files, files stacked on each other and books and shoes everywhere else. So, basically, it looks like a hot mess of disarray, which it is...for now. Anyway, as I was going through this drawer, I found soooo much stuff that I didn't even realize I'd had. Straws, for example. There had been days where I would forget to pick up one from wherever I was and would be cursing when I'd get back to my desk and realize I'd forgotten it. Well, lo and behold, a sista had MAD straws up in her drawer when she really was convinced that she'd had NONE! lol

The moral to the story is this:

Stop looking everywhere else for the things you need before searching inside yourself. When you actually take the time to dig into who you are, you may be surprised to find that what you've spent so much time looking everywhere else for has already been there the whole time.

03 janvier 2006

Starting the NEW YEAR Off Right!

A friend of mine sent this to me, so I thought I'd share... I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful New Year...

December 28, 2005
Creative Cuts: Editing Your Life

Our lives can be compared to an ongoing movie script over which we have complete creative control. Within us lies the power to examine what works or isn't working in our lives and make "edits" to our life's script, accordingly. Choosing to actively edit your life can be incredibly empowering. As you evolve, you have the choice to accept the script you've written thus far or edit it so you can create a life that fulfills you. You can cut out from your life's script what is no longer working for you. Acknowledging that you are responsible for the experience you create gives you the ability to create the life you've always longed for.

Granted, editing your real life isn't always as easy as erasing a line of text. If you've carried emotional baggage or held on to an unhealthy relationship for a long time, these may be difficult to edit out. But when you do cut out what isn't working from your life, you'll feel lighter and more alive. Editing out activities that you find stressful, disassociating yourself from people that drain your energy, and letting go of your emotional baggage are all beneficial cuts you can make. In the empty spaces that are left behind, you can add in anything you like. Just as you have the power to edit out negative situations or beliefs that you no longer wish to have as part of your life, you can now include the kinds of positive experiences, people, and beliefs that you would like to fill your life with. The manifestation of these thoughts and images as realities in your life will inevitably follow. As you make changes to your life, you can also add in the bits where you choose more intimate, healthier relationships, seek out adventure over tedium, and are no longer negatively impacted by old experiences.

To begin editing your life, simply think about your positive and negative experiences. When you determine what parts of your life are no longer serving you, make the commitment to remove them - though, it is important to remember that there is no proper timing or way to do this, and patience and compassion for yourself are always important during this process. Then, ask yourself what has brought you profound bliss and consider how you can make those experiences and beliefs part of your life now. With a little editing, you'll be able to clear out what is no longer serving you and make room in your life for more happiness, love, and wisdom.

The source is OM Newsletter.