In the Name of Love

One of my friends has a sister who had a really horrible experience with an African man. Since my interests may lie with someone of the same or similar background, her advice to me was to "please be very careful". She did acknowledge that this advice was unsolicited and that she knows nothing about this person, but she felt compelled to share this with me out of concern.

All in all, I appreciate her concern and told her this, and that I understood that we all have (or had) perceptions about Africans, specifically the men, and everyone is entitled to his or her own view. Personally, I don't want to be judged based on what anyone thinks of Black Americans, especially the bad, and I don't want to do that to someone else. It's almost akin to the woman who continually chooses wrong man after wrong man, then all men become dogs. But does that make them all dogs? I would say not. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at ourselves to see what's really going on.

I would be misrepresenting myself if I made it seem like I don't have prejudices, because I do. And some, to be quite honest, I hold fast to because in my opinion, they keep me safe. But, I am working on this.

My friend isn't a bad person, just very concerned for me. Her views are based on her own experiences and what she knows from African friends and her sister, and I won't take anything away from that. The only thing I don't like is feeling like whatever resentment she may have toward African men in totality is being projected on to me. She promptly let me know that even if I am wrong about this man and he breaks my heart, she'll still be there for me.

That made me angry, but email is email, and who knows the tone she intended (though I know her pretty well, and surmise that my first impression is the correct one). I responded to her in a kind way, but dammit if I didn't suppress my desire to express that anger---damn the non-confrontational me! I have got to work on that!!

Anyway, in the end, people are people---good, bad and otherwise---and while culture and sometimes race plays an intricate role in who we are, so does upbringing and taking responsibility for ourselves and who we choose to become involved with.

I would think that we all want to be taken for who we are as individuals...

Do you think broad-based views on race and culture cloud our perceptions of people or truly enlighten us?

Message of REFLECTION

I wanted to share the wishes and thoughts one of my dearest and closest friends sent that touched me...

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What's Up My People: CAN U BELIEVE '06 is almost out the door?!?!?!?! ...

I pray that the Holidays are full of loving hugs, good food, and hope for whatever you want to manifest in your life to be a reality or at least one less step away in the New Year.

I don't *really* do New Year's resolutions. I have certain themes for each year, not knowing the form they will take through the passing months. My theme is Divinely chosen because I listen as the year comes to an end and take a mental inventory of the months before.

This year I encourage you to do the same ... Just take a few moments in the next week or so and listen in your quiet time, or rather your alone time, be it driving in the car or even taking a shower.

I Divinely began this tradition in 2003. That year's theme was "transitions." I felt in my spirit that a huge event would happen in my life that would catapult me into an unexpected realm of *newness* and I would transition in a significant way. Sure enough events of that ENTIRE year symbolized grand transitions that changed my life forever in all respects, redifining my existence in magnificent ways.

So, I share this with you as a thought for a way to approach your new years, not just '07. Let '07 be the starting point. The key to this process is listening to that Divine voice inside of you and seeing how things will manifest. Of course, because life is what it is, the process isn't always warm and fuzzy. We are humans and within the *process* is a balance of good and bad [challenges] in order to blossom at the end. It ain't all rosy (0:

Enjoy your Holiday and the New Year ahead. Good luck in determining your theme for '07...

Love and hugs your way, always.