In the Name of Love

One of my friends has a sister who had a really horrible experience with an African man. Since my interests may lie with someone of the same or similar background, her advice to me was to "please be very careful". She did acknowledge that this advice was unsolicited and that she knows nothing about this person, but she felt compelled to share this with me out of concern.

All in all, I appreciate her concern and told her this, and that I understood that we all have (or had) perceptions about Africans, specifically the men, and everyone is entitled to his or her own view. Personally, I don't want to be judged based on what anyone thinks of Black Americans, especially the bad, and I don't want to do that to someone else. It's almost akin to the woman who continually chooses wrong man after wrong man, then all men become dogs. But does that make them all dogs? I would say not. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at ourselves to see what's really going on.

I would be misrepresenting myself if I made it seem like I don't have prejudices, because I do. And some, to be quite honest, I hold fast to because in my opinion, they keep me safe. But, I am working on this.

My friend isn't a bad person, just very concerned for me. Her views are based on her own experiences and what she knows from African friends and her sister, and I won't take anything away from that. The only thing I don't like is feeling like whatever resentment she may have toward African men in totality is being projected on to me. She promptly let me know that even if I am wrong about this man and he breaks my heart, she'll still be there for me.

That made me angry, but email is email, and who knows the tone she intended (though I know her pretty well, and surmise that my first impression is the correct one). I responded to her in a kind way, but dammit if I didn't suppress my desire to express that anger---damn the non-confrontational me! I have got to work on that!!

Anyway, in the end, people are people---good, bad and otherwise---and while culture and sometimes race plays an intricate role in who we are, so does upbringing and taking responsibility for ourselves and who we choose to become involved with.

I would think that we all want to be taken for who we are as individuals...

Do you think broad-based views on race and culture cloud our perceptions of people or truly enlighten us?

The Lesson Cycle

I am so bored right now….UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!

And out of this boredom, I checked my myspace page and what do I see but a “friend” request from someone I’d much rather keep in my past. I’m like, dude, I don’t even want to be your friend b/c we’re going to go through the same bs role play we did like what, SIX years ago?!?!

I thought I had emotional problems, but this guy takes the cake! LOL

But, you know, maybe I’m being harsh and judgmental b/c there is a possibility that things have changed. I feel obligated to “be nice” and accept the request, but that’s not what I want to do. What I DO want to do, though, is clear the air and get some things off my chest that have been there for a while where it concerns this person. I’m still angry with him (and myself) for reasons I don’t care to disclose, and I’m at Realization’s Doorstep…

…And I see that I just need to deal with my anger and angst toward this person so that I can move forward.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? If so, how’d you deal with it?

Change Is A Comin'

Unintentionally I didn't get around to writing this year until late in January, but I decided to wait until the new month to actually post...as a way to take stock of the first month of the new year.

A couple posts ago I put up a message one of my friends had sent. Her words had gotten me to thinking about what my theme would be for this year, and FREEDOM came to me.

Even though I have the usual list of goals for the year, it came to me that my focus needed to be on becoming free---releasing myself from the things I may have been holding on to emotionally, financially, and mentally that are keeping me from growing and evolving into the person I am to become.

I realized that I have a lot of hurdles to overcome and so many things I'd love to accomplish, but something's hindering my progress.

I've talked about this before, but one of the major areas for me is finances. My long-term goal is to get out of credit card debt, and my target date is three years from now. Another of my friends is in the same boat, and we've gotten together to support and encourage each other to reach our major financial goals. So, when I make decisions, I will have taken the effect of such decision on this goal. When it comes down to it, I want to be a better steward of my resources, and am excited about seeing this materialize in my life.

What's funny is that once my friend and I really got to talking about this, not long after, situations presented themselves to me which would directly and consequently, have a negative impact on this goal. I was like, wow! I've only just decided to do this, and already stuff is coming my way. I must be on the right track, then!

Finances is only one aspect of my FreeDOME Ride, though. Overall, my theme is to become free of anything that is keeping me from going to the next level in my life.

I'm working to free my mind, my money, my soul, my creativity and whatever else is bound right now.

This is what 2007 is about for me...what about you?

The First

IN THE NEWS:

I’ve been wanting to comment on this topic for some time, and am just getting around to it.

A sistah was on the news for having reportedly found a (cooked) mouse in her Chinese food. They zoomed in to do a close up of the alleged mouse, which I must add, was battered and friend and looked like a piece of chicken.

However, there were a couple things that would lead one to believe that this in fact was not a piece of chicken. The thin, but batter-fried tail would be one factor, and the other would be what looked like a foot. Additionally, I have to say that the shape was right on. My kitty got a mouse in our place like six months ago. It was a little baby, with it’s little thin tail.

I think you all can see like I saw where this is going.

At any rate, the “specimen” was sent to a lab and an incision was made into the “specimen”, only to reveal very small ribs…DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN…

The conclusion was that it was indeed a mouse, and the sistah is planning to sue to restaurant and whomever else.

I mean, how nasty is that?!??! And the next day after the broadcast, I still see people chillin’ up in the Chinese restaurant for their takeout orders. This isn’t to say that there is something wrong w/that, but is nobody else concerned? The person interviewed from the Chinese restaurant was adamant that it was not a mouse, and yet, here it was.

We all eat Chinese food, but I really, REALLY started to wonder about the how strict health officials enforce the citations they issue and whether they are even on top of these small restaurants. My next thought was that the Chinese ppl who own and run most of these spots could give too shits whether a mouse ended up in the batter and was cooked and served to a customer. You know why? Because it’s mainly Blacks who eat there, and they know we will continue to do so, regardless.

Maybe I’m generalizing and pulling accusations out of the air, but I don’t think what I just stated is far from the truth.

So, how was that #14 last night?