Miscellaneous Holiday Madness

Today I just didn’t feel like making the effort to come in to the office today, but I dragged my tired butt out anyway. I can’t really complain b/c I didn’t have nearly the commute trials and tribulations so many others had, but still. At first the idea of a strike is novel...until you realize just how badly your otherwise usual activities and ventures are affected by ALL the trains and buses out of the picture. And this sht is not pretty!

Fortunately for me, today is my last day, and I will be oh so glad to get up out of here. Can’t wait! I have a lot of things to get accomplished before heading south for a bit of the winter. And even more fortunately, I only have to deal w/2 days of this chaos if it goes on longer. A friend of mine told me that in 1980, the strike lasted for ELEVEN DAYS! Usually, I’ve very “fight for your right” and “power to the people”, but if this thing goes on through next week, I can’t guarantee that I’ll continue to be as sympathetic.

My department participated in a charity this year that answers letters to Santa from needy children throughout the city. This was the first I’d been a part of this, and I can’t begin to tell you how great it felt to be out buying things for someone who could really use it. We had two kids, a boy and a girl that we were all buying for, and it was amazing how much stuff they had. All the presents were wrapped and handed out to them at their school. I bought both kids winter boots and socks. If I had kids of my own, I know that they would be so spoiled. Just ask Mr. K! He knows, LOL!

But all in all, it was rewarding for me to contribute something to a couple of great kids and I’m looking forward to doing the same again next year. Maybe even take it further and become a mentor.

So even w/the holiday and transit strike blues, there is always something to be grateful for and be appreciative of. Having health, family, friends, and basic life necessities are not things to take for granted...ever.

EXECUTION

The room was an igloo compared to the warmth of the bed. I shivered as I slid beneath the covers, back into the cocoon of where his body had just been, hoping to be enveloped by his warmth. Knowing that eventually, it would become my own.

Soon I was lying on a moist-cool-warm pillow. I could still feel the weight of his fingers and hands as only hours before he inexpertly but effectively kneaded much of the tension from my shoulders, neck and back. His hands were like mittens, their impression left in my muscles the way footprints are made in sand.

He had been kind enough not to press me about the “naked” prerequisite, but I had obliged anyway as I deftly pulled my black tank over my head, revealing a part of myself to him. Knowing that I could only get what I needed this way.

“So what do you want to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I breathed in reply.

“You have to know,” he says. I could see a faint trace of exasperation in his eyes as we lay in the semi-darkness. “You have to have some kind of plan.”

Nearly everything he'd said I’d already sorted through in my own mind sitting with my thoughts, but these were the things I hadn’t dared utter aloud. Even though we are in different places in many ways, in numerous others we are inexplicably close. I know that in our hearts we want a lot of the same things. Yet, he’d managed to say them. He’s definitely the more mature one.

The apartment was cold and shadowy. Walking him to the door seemed to take hours. It was like two condemned prisoners being led to the execution chamber, our relationship soon to be demised. He gripped my hands as though clinging to a last bit of life, as if to comfort and, yet, struggle to be comforted until we both had to let go. My mind drifted back to only moments before. I could have lain there forever, my legs entangled in his.

Why does loving someone always seem to involve some form of torture?

© Copyright 2005 by Issiata

A Woman Should...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A set of screwdrivers,
a cordless drill, and
a black lace bra..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
One friend who
always makes her laugh...
And one
who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A good piece of furniture
not previously owned by
anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
Eight matching plates,
wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal that will
make her guests feel honore d.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A feeling of control over
her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love
without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... and
WHEN TO WALK AWAY..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change
the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or
the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood
may not have been perfect...
but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and wouldn't
do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust,
Whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go...
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
Or a charming inn in the woods...
When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish
In a day...
A month..

And a year...

******************************

A friend of mine sent this to me, and though I've seen a few derivatives of this same fwd, I decided to post it. In a way, I think of it as a "30 something" (and maybe 40, depending) woman's checklist to life. Not every woman is going to have or know all these things, but it's a nice list to have to gauge where you are and where, if any place, you'd like to go. Enjoy! :)

Just My Thoughts

DISCLAIMER:

I don't really have much to talk about, but I at least wanted to get something down before I got disowned, LOL! So pls excuse the rambling...this post may or may not make sense. :)Today is just one of those days. I didn’t get much sleep last night (due to circumstances beyond f

Today is just one of those days. I didn’t get much sleep last night (due to circumstances beyond my control, lol) so I’m tired today, and not feeling this cold ass weather.

I’m only looking forward to the holidays in order to have time off work and the drama so I can relax a little. This week is the last full for us, and next week I work three days. Then it’s off to MD for a bit for Christmas, and back to NYC for some peace and quiet and leisure time w/Mr. K. There are a few things in the works for New Year’s Eve, so I’ll be working that out once I’m back.

While I like the change in seasons, I can’t really tolerate days below 40 degrees, sometimes 30’s, the lowest, but this sht right here: BBBBBBRRRRRRRrrrrrrr!

Christmas shopping is not exactly my favorite thing to do, but there are some ppl I want to show how much I appreciate them. But if there was anything I could have (besides a new laptop and a few other things) I would want to celebrate Christmas w/my brother and sister and their kids the way we did a few years back. My sister’s in NC and my brother’s in MD, though MIA most of the time. We didn’t grow up together in the same household as a family, so my heart truly yearns for that closeness.

So while the holidays are supposed to be all joyous and merry, they tend to be mixed with a little sadness for me.

Since there have been some major developments at work, I am looking forward to sitting down w/a piping mug of Earl Grey to map out my goals and plans for next year. I usually start giving the next year some thought and briefly jot down some goals in September. This year wasn’t in depth planning, but now that I have had some quality inspiration (and motivation) from my fellow bloggers, I am so ready to put my pen to paper and begin making my dreams a reality.

*smile*

Lil Didja Know

Try as I might, America’s Next Top Model was one of a myriad of reality shows that sucked me in this season. It’s bad enough as it is that I’m already a huge TV junkie. So, I’ve been watching the majority of the episodes from this season (now they are referring to them as “cycles”. Who da hell came up w/that???) and the girl I personally did not want to win won, and I have my own speculations as to why it worked out the way it did. Oh, and to digress a bit, for anyone who has watched the show, I’ve seen Nigel Barker on the street this summer, and one of my friends met in the airport last month! :)

Anyway, during the final judges’ deliberation, Twiggy, one of the judges, said that she believed that even though Nik could be fierce, she was a gentle soul underneath, and would not be able to cope w/the pressure of being a top model. And that Nicole, on the other hand would not crack so easily.

Sidenote: Even though I know the producers and editors of the show edit to represent the impressions they want viewers to have, in more than one episode Nicole was either a.) freaking out during a shoot b/c pigeons were landing on her, b.)flat out refusing to try to recite her lines from memory while making the CoverGirl commercial (Jay had to read them aloud to her so she could repeat them), or c.) bitching about being dirty and getting mud all over herself after an obstacle course challenge. I could probably be wrong about how she does as the new ANTM, but Nicole's responses in those situations just didn't resonate "toughness" to me. Throughout each of those instances, Nik held her shit together and nailed those challenges. Honestly, I would have preferred Bre (the lil ma from Harlem) to win the top spot, but I wholeheartedly disagree that Nik would have succumbed to the rigors of being the next top model.

There are some things I’ve accomplished that other ppl just did not think I could do—-move to NYC w/no job or a place to live, learn to drive a stick, for example—-or have it in me to actually do. And the funny thing is, I ended surprising myself as much as I probably surprised the ppl who told me I couldn't and didn't believe in me. I’ve done those things, and I’m proud that I now have ownership of them under my belt, but I found myself really thinking about what other “surprises” I want to have in my life. (Besides learning how to swim, lol!)

What’s something you’ve done that you (or others) were surprised you could do?

Where I Got It...

Brooklyn Babe mentioned that she shared the famous Cosby quote with her social group, and she and Bajan Queen noted that BQ posted it on her site as well.

So to give credit where credit is due, I took this quote from JB's email tag line. It got me to thinking and I was moved by it, and I wanted to share it.

It's great to see that we are trying to keep ourselves and each other motivated as we work to make our dreams our reality.

Thanks, JB! :)

Destiny

Never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined I’d be living in New York City.

The city that truly never sleeps, that is the constant hustle and bustle of those trying to make it and those that have; a city of takers and givers, cons and straight-laced and everything in between; filled with devils and those who would devour, yet saved by angels incessantly standing guard. Babylon.

Like most pre-teens growing up in the 80s in the suburbs, NYC was where it was at. It was where hip hop and rap icons and legends were made, where culture was born. I used to write rhymes w/my girls, had my share of female rap duos, trios and the like, and had my dreams of one day touching a star.

I romanticized NYC as a youth, but did not set out to make the island my home. But, somehow, here I am. And believe me, the novelty soon wore off as I realized how tough and unforgiving this city (and its people) can often be. We take no fcking prisoners. I’ll knock into a muthafcka and keep it moving if I have someplace to be and yo azz is in my way. But, I’ll stop and give anyone directions if I can b/c I know what it’s like to be lost in an unfamiliar place.

These are the faces, the moods, the ups, the downs, the perils and the joys of living in this city. I hate the winters here, but can still find some beauty in it. The air feels cleaner (though I don’t know if it really is), more crisp, and a lot less smelly. I can count on that. The parks become winter wonderlands, and somehow, you fall in love w/this place again. So much to do and see, to drink and eat, and people to meet. It’s no wonder that in some ways the world watches us with envy and sometimes, awe. I am even amazed by it.

For now, it’s home. My base.

It’s the place I find myself yearning to get back to when I’m away...

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. –Bill Cosby

*****************

Fear, in some cases, can be a positive motivating factor when making decisions like buckling your seatbelt, wearing a condom/using birth control, or getting annual physicals. But other times, Fear can be debilitating and crippling, and can prevent someone from reaching his or her goals or realizing their dreams.

A friend once asked me if I’d ever experienced the sense of accomplishment felt after conquering a fear. I’d really like to know what it’s like to know how to swim. I’d had a traumatic childhood experience which is probably the reason I haven’t learned yet, but I really want to be able to enjoy water sports without being freaked out.

I was on a cruise some years ago, and a bunch of us went snorkeling. Okay, let’s just say I went holding on to one of the boat boys and nearly drowned him, lol. Yeah, it was hard as hell to breathe out of those masks, but I managed to put my face in the water for, oh...like, FIVE minutes!! LOL I did not like feeling so helpless and so panicked. But, the next time I go snorkeling, I want to be able to enjoy it fully and experience everything I missed before.

This is why I liked this quote so much, though...I can decide to want my goals accomplished more than being afraid of doing what it takes to accomplish them.

That’s soooo empowering...